All I can do….

All I can do is lay here motionless not knowing which thought I want to grab onto. So much chaos in my head this evening. After getting out and enjoying a walk today I returned home knowing I was going to be my own company this evening.

My life took a big dive off the bridge 2 weeks ago causing changes that I never thought I would have to make.

So many questions, so much pain with feelings of rejection.

A broken relationship, an aching heart and unimaginable loss and suffering I’m experiencing.

I once shared my love and time with my best friend and also the person I had made a life with.

It all ended so suddenly!

Love is love but one should never feel the pain it can come with. Why can love something that is so real and given so easily by some be a target!

Maybe I’m the only one on this planet who feels love so deeply. It sometimes feels like it.

I’ve been a victim of narcissistic abuse by someone who has no way of knowing that they are the one who is in the wrong place in this world.

Humans are not meant to forget the feelings they had for someone. When we forget these feelings they start to diminish in our lives altogether. Then we struggle to get those feelings back in our lives.

There’s nothing wrong with keeping the love burning inside. Rather let that person who broke your heart carry your flame of love. Whether you think if they care or not!

They might turn a blind eye or show no remorse for throwing the love you gave them back to you but wait and be patient.

We all will face or have faced life’s memories at some point and at different times.

The word love and spreading it and feeling it in all ways of doing good with it, is what God was and is all about. When pain is inflicted on a pure heart, innocent heart there can be faithful reassurance that the one who does this will feel the exact same pain that you or I have endured with a lasting painful remorseful memory that will creep in and out as a reminder of their past actions.

No one is free from damaging a lovable innocent soul, it will be a nagging feeling laid upon them until forgiveness is truly asked for and their lesson learnt.

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